So I didn’t write a post on my birthday. To be honest, I’m forcing myself to write this now, because I can’t and won’t give up on this blog yet.
I feel so tired and stretched, but I will persevere and continue on. Now that I’ve affirmed my intentions…
I’m 26 now! Happy birthday me! I’ve spent the past few months realizing that I have achieved very little in my life, but somehow accomplished a lot. While I do not have a career I’m passionate about or a family to raise or a steady life, I have a done a lot of really cool things. Like writing a few books. Done that. Are they edited masterpieces? No! I’m lazy and I quit things. So they are just sitting there, but I accomplished the arduous task of writing several novels to completion. At least the first drafts. I accomplished a year in China. WOOHOO. My Chinaversary was fun and depressing. I’m ready to move home now. But I did it! I made it a year. Go me! I discovered that I’m an incredibly vulnerable person without any badassery to speak of. To prove it, I’m crying as I write this. I don’t know what the tears are for, but apparently I’m emotionally overloaded and can’t express myself. So crying is clearly my only option. The list goes on:
- I’m a traveling book bandit. Because I don’t pay library fines. I hate them. I’ve waxed eloquently on this before.
- I’m officially a K-drama enthusiast. I have pictures of Lee Jong Suk taped to my desk.
- I’m a social animal. I went out 5 days a week every week of August. It was exhausting.
- I’m an introvert (ambivert). I loved being with people, but I equally loved my time alone.
- I’m a snob. No really. I have no chill about using Asian beauty products now. They are the only option.
- I’m still a judgmental freak, but way less so now. Because God is gracious and shows me mercy every day. I am trying, but often fail.
- I’m still a perfectionist. This came as a surprise to me, because I thought I had outgrown that trait, but it stuck with me and haunts me now. Weird to realize it now.
I am happy to be here, and excited to move on. I want to write for money. I want to go to grad school. I want to grow into adulthood. I’m losing my Peter Pan tendencies. It’s kind of exhilarating and kind of depressing.
Happy September everyone. Enjoy your transition into autumn and change.