A Rant In Response to Being Terrorized By My Coworker


There’s something that’s been on my chest for a while and I’m gonna let out, like I’m on a Disney Channel Original movie.
I hate seaweed. It’s all good when it’s in the ocean and I’m swimming by it. I can wave at it and appreciate that it is part of the ecosystem of the ocean. I love the way it nourishes other beings in the ocean and it floats like a mo*fo. But if you take it out of the ocean and put it on my plate and tell me to eat it, I will spit in your face. I hate it. It tastes gross no matter how you cook it and you won’t convince me otherwise.
It’s the primary reason I’ve been so hesitant to try sushi. Raw fish – eh, whatever. Seaweed – GET THAT THE HELL AWAY FROM ME. And now it comes in strips for your snacking needs. Whose idea was that? One of my coworkers was just sitting trying to get me to eat some and I was literally cringing away from him. Because seaweed reviles me. I loathe it.
So don’t try to convince me it’s healthy. Just shake your head in pity. Because I live in China now, where one of the primary fake flavors is seaweed. Seaweed, prawns, and shrimp. This is my life. Lord help me.

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