I decided to just come up with these. I’m sure you’ve heard some of them (or all of them) before.
A is for Austen. Duh.
B is for Bertram. Edmund Bertram is the hero of Mansfield Park.
C is for Collins. A more awkward man you’ll never meet.
D is for Darcy. Swoon.
E is for Emma. She’s a bit of a pill.
F is for Frank Churchill. He’s a selfish douche.
G is for George Wickham. CAD! SCALLYWAG!
H is for Harriet. Naive, but sweet.
I is for Isabella Thorpe. A false friend and naughty child.
J is for Jane Bennett. Sweet and lovely as always.
K is for Knightley. Swoon again.
L is for Lizzie. An idol to us all.
M is for Marianne. Emotional and spontaneous.
N is for Northanger Abbey. Creepy and full of ghosts. And vampires.
O is for Osborne. As in the Osbornes of The Watsons. It’s a little known work of Austen’s.
P is for Persuasion. My favorite Austen novel.
Q is for Quaint. Like The Bennett’s house or life in the country.
R is for Robert. As in Mr. Robert Martin of Abbymill Farm.
S is for Susan. Lady Susan is another unfinished Austen novel.
T is for Tilney. Mr. Tilney is such a flirt.
U is for Uncle. Sir Thomas Bertram is Fanny’s uncle in Mansfield Park and therefore important.
V is for Viscountess. The Elliot’s are related to the Viscountess Darymple. It’s awkward.
W is for Wentworth. Strong, silent, perfection.
X is for FairfaX. As in Jane Fairfax. Because no names in Austen’s world start with X.
Y is for Young. The evil Mrs. Young helps Wickham in his lecherous activities.
Z is for EliZa. Because Z’s are also unpopular. Eliza Williams is Willoughby’s first victim.