One could argue that any season brings change, but Autumn brings it more decisively than others. Its whole purpose is change. And you can’t even hate it for the change. As my friend Luci said, there’s something so poetic about the dying of things to usher in the new.
I haven’t been writing because it would have been sob story after sob story and I didn’t fancy complaining to all of you about the sorry state of my life at the moment. For starters, we are moving out of our quaint and semi-perfect apartment because the lease is up. One of my roommates is jetting off to London soon, so that’s exciting. But one would think that Emily and I would stick together. Alas, it’s not so. Em’s moving back to Minnesota. It’s now just me against the big bad city.
In all seriousness, I am happy for her to be moving back. She’ll be with family and in times of upheaval that’s the best place to be. It just makes me sad. For four years I’ve been galavanting about with her. She’s the one who pushes me to go out of doors. No joke. If it were up to me, I’d never leave my apartment. I feel forlorn, like Emma when Miss Taylor (or Mrs. Weston) leaves Hartfield. It’s just sad. I’m really going to miss her.
I’m also having issues finding a place to live. I have a job (Starbucks, woot!), but finding an apartment is a little more difficult. I can’t rent anything on my own without a cosigner. And I’m not sure I could afford one. And I don’t know of anyone who is looking for roommates. I’m hesitant to go looking for a roommate online, because some of those ads are sketch. So right now, I’m talking to everyone I know about the need for an apartment and hoping that someone is like, “Oh! I totally know this amazing girl who is looking for a roommate!” I do have someplace to live for the month of October. But come November, things are a little shaky.
My consolations are Jesus and Michael Buble. Blues music is totally speaking to my soul at the moment. It sums up my feelings to a tee.
But, you know, without change we would never grow. I would hate to remain the same person forever. I am being refined and sanctified and I praise God that He isn’t done with me yet…
So here’s to Autumn and the change it brings. May this season be one of thankfulness and growth.