The crazy is one thing that I can’t fight off during times like these. It creeps up into me and just kind of takes over. I go a little insane when under pressure. I freak out and do things that normal people don’t do. Like dance in the street. And sing really loudly everywhere. And talk to people that aren’t there. If that’s not crazy I don’t know what is. (Although some would say that it’s my illustrious and abundant imagination…I just see the story, or parts of it anyway).

The dread comes then. Dread that I won’t finish in time. Have you seen Dane Cook’s crying routine? He talks about hysterical crying and how when you cry like that you latch on to a phrase, such as “I did my best.” My phrase during this part is “I’ll never finish.” I don’t cry, not physically, but the dread creeps up my spine and invades my eyes so I feel like crying. It snakes into my brain, taking the crazy and amplifying it so I get just a little crazier.

Then come the drama. When you’re crazy, drama is inevitable. However, when the dread slinks in, the drama decides that it wants to play too. And then I freak out publicly and everyone tells me how dramatic I am.

This is my cycle when I have a lot to do. And now you know. Farewell, Reader.

Unfortunately, my life is currently in a volatile state. I’m in my last semester at Moody and I’m trying to find an apartment, a job, roommates, etc so that I’m set in May. Basically I’m trying to find a future in a few short months. I really just want to write. There are few things that I truly enjoy to the very core of my being, but writing is one of them. I recently started writing a new story and it is fantastic. I’m euphoric.

Between classes and work and friends (and my new story), I haven’t enough time to also blog about life and books and experiences. That all being said, I am going to try to post twice a month. It’s low pressure for me and a realistic expectation. I want to write posts, so it shouldn’t be too bad. Also, one of those posts is going to be a book review. I haven’t reviewed anything in a while, and I need to get back  in the habit of critiquing through writing and not just verbally. My first book review of the year will be posted in February.

This is a scary time of life. When all things that I’ve learned through school and life experiences seem to come to a point and I’m being pressured to DO something. I know what I’d like to do, but I’m waiting because I don’t really know what God wants me to do when I graduate. I don’t know if writing full-time is something that he wants me to do or if I’ll be doing something totally different, so I wait.

The hardest thing in the world to do is to wait, because essentially it means you’re not doing anything.

Farewell dear reader. See you next month!

1. Graduate.

Easy enough, right? *deep breath* maybe. I’m freaking out a little. Or a lot. So, here’s to the new year and a new life after May.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

1. My new Tea Shirt from Threadless. Luci has the same one, but I love it. Brianna got it for me. She waited until there was a reprint. She’s the best.
2. My family. We’ve had some interesting times today (we got a Xbox Kinect) but I love them. They’re definitely my favorite.
3. External hard drives. I found out that I have to rewrite my 4000 word paper, but you know, I’m really glad that I have a 2 TB external hard drive. Definitely a favorite.
4. My friends. Nick bought me a Mars Bar and Disney Dough. Emily got me two beautiful books. Danica got me the most gorgeous scarf ever. But that’s not why I love them. I love ALL (yes, ALL) my friends because they’re awesome in lots of different little ways. I’m so happy that they’re all in my life. FAVORITE!
5. Diffusers. I love hair diffusers because they don’t frizz my hair and allow me to dry it before I go out into the cold.
6. Books. They’re obviously my favorite. I got Grace two books and two hats for Christmas. Marissa got five books. Yup. I was a little obsessed.
7. Disney Princesses. Specifically Belle. Disney princesses are my favorite, but Belle is my favorite Disney princess. So she’s the favoritist favorite. I got a puzzle from Grace with Disney princesses on it.
8. Sherlock Holmes. MY FAVORITE CRIME FIGHTER! Yes, I certainly love all the crime fighters: superheroes (Superman), cops (Rizzoli and Isles. For the moment), detectives, etc. But Sherlock is the best. Hands down. No matter what time period, which actor, which co-star, he dominates every time. Way to go, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
9. My Kindle. I got it for my birthday and I love it. It enables me to carry many many books without the weight of the paper in my suitcase.
10. Cough Drops. This may seem silly, but I’ve been sick lately. And even if I hadn’t , I really do love cough drops. A quote: “True love is the greatest thing in all the world. Except for cough drops.” (The Princess Bride by William Goldman)
11. Classics. Whether in book or movie form (preferably book) I love the classics. Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Gaskell, Dickens, P. G. Wodehouse: I love them like none other. I realize that this is the third time I’ve mentioned books. I love them that much.
12. Scrivener. The best app ever for writing. I love it a lot. The index cards, the outline form, the notes that you can add in the margins, these things make me happy when I write. I don’t really like any other writing software. FAV!
13. The Piano. The best instrument for everything. I can’t play well, but I love to try. I also love listening to the piano. It’s my favorite (the harp is my second favorite to listen to).
14. “Psychic” detectives. Sherlock may be my favorite crime fighter, but “psychic” detectives are my favorite kind of detective. If you’re scratching your head at this, please stop. I’m only human (I can have two conflicting emotions at the same time. -Alphas). The not-so-psychics I refer to here are, of course, Shawn Spencer and Patrick Jane. Both brilliant, both funny. However, one has gone through severe tragedy and quit pretending to be psychic and one hasn’t and only just started.
15. Fossil. Best brand for purses and wallets. I’m just now getting rid of a purse I had for three years…and I probably won’t get rid of it. I love it. A lot. But my mom bought me a new one for Christmas Yay!
16. Typewriters. Nuff said.
17. Clean desks. All last semester, my desk failed to remain clean. It made me sad. This upcoming semester, I fully intend to hold fast for my favorite kind of desk: the clean one. I love sitting at a desk and writing. It’s my favorite.
18. Music. Favorite.
19. French. I like french bread, the language, Nutella, the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre. French’s mustard (although that’s a bit different).
20. I know this isn’t exactly a favorite, but I’m saving the best for last. This Christmas season I was sick and nothing forces you to face the things you hate about yourself like sickness. Your body is doing nasty things, you’re constantly in a foul mood, everyone is nice to you causing you to hate yourself (cause you treat them horribly) and you’re up for hours and hours at night because you can’t breath due to that nasty sinus infection you have. I have not been a nice person lately. But this morning everyone woke up and for a few short hours we enjoyed giving. Getting presents is not my favorite. In fact, I put off opening presents (I was Santa this year and got to hand out presents) so I could give people what I bought them. Giving gifts is awesome and I just wanted to recognize that none of us could truly enjoy Christmas without the abundance of grace that God gave us. So, as cliche as it sounds and maybe is, Jesus is my favorite. I’m so glad that we get this holiday to remember that He came to give us something that we can’t buy, something that we ought to remember and treasure every day: Himself. His sacrifice gave us grace, love, hope, joy, peace, and healing.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the day!

I am fortunate enough not to have any finals. Everyone looks at me with a twinge of hatred when I say that, but I’m not free of school yet. I have papers. If anything papers are worse than finals. Finals are over in a few short hours. Papers take days. Papers take weeks of your time and suck it into a vortex. You can spend days on a paper and realize that it’s crappy and delete it. Then you have to start over again. Papers are not nice to you. They know their power and they abuse it. They laugh at you as you attempt to write that intro paragraph using some lame metaphor. They sneer as you misuse commas in the body. They might even slap you in the face when you come to the conclusion and realize that you failed to prove thesis. Papers are cruel.

I had to write two short stories, a play, and two papers. Most people laugh at me when I tell them that I’m stressed about this. I even had someone say that I could whip out those short stories no problem, because I’m a writer. It comes easy to me, right? HELL NO! The creative endeavor is the most difficult of all. Creativity comes in splashes or drips more often than it comes in downpours. To be told by a professor that you must manufacture something that would normally take years of your life in a manner of days is more terrifying than anything I’ve yet encountered. To be fair, the play was a process of about half the semester. So that went well. But those stories. They didn’t just laugh, or sneer, or slap. It was like Chinese Water torture. Drip, drip, drip. I just wanted the flood to come. JUST GIVE ME WHAT I NEED NOW! No, they smiled calmly and just dripped. I finally finished one. I was completely dissatisfied, but I turned it in. I’m still working on the other. It will undoubtedly be less than I hoped, but it will be done. And then I can handle the dripping.

Imagination is a gift; if we weren’t meant to use it, we wouldn’t have it. God created and thus set an example for his creation. As His children, we have the authority to create as well. That’s not to say that we must create, but that we can. He created the Bible: a series of stories told to us through the written word. They aren’t fictional stories, but in the New Testament, Jesus told parables, fictional stories that taught some sort of lesson. It was a way to reach the people, but it was also subtle. Christian fiction should follow His model. Christian fiction is full of stories that don’t portray human beings as fallen creatures or as beings of weakness. This genre distorts life so that it shows perfection. No matter which sub-genre one delves into there is a glossy shine that makes it all look plastic. There are rare exceptions to this and rarer still are those that come from modern authors. Most lived in a different age, when Christian publishers didn’t run amuck and Christian audiences weren’t looking for a quick fix. Contemporary “Christian” fiction is not an accurate portrayal of reality or excellence in the fiction genre. Christian authors should not write with an agenda in mind, but should write descriptively instead.

Religious stories are nothing new. Since the beginning of time man has written stories of his or her gods. Homer’s The Iliad and The Odyssey, The tales of Gilgamesh, Beowulf even all showed the worldview of the author. John Milton wrote Paradise Lost and started the tradition of the Byronic hero, an image that Byron encouraged. The Bronte sisters and Jane Austen wrote what they saw in society. The Brontes wrote dark stories, while Austen was a bit more light, although scathingly satirical. Their themes are Christian, although they never come out and state that. Jane Eyre, for example, is full of redemptive themes. The protagonist firmly holds to her beliefs, and that’s why the public loves her. Mark Twain wrote novels that showed the wrongs of slavery; Flannery O’Connor wrote stories that showed the depravity of man. Many other authors continued to write what they saw and integrate their beliefs through the novel without pushing their own agendas.

The Evangelical novel as it is thought of today didn’t actually come into existence until the 1960’s. This time period ushered in a rigid divide between “liberal” and “conservative” in the political sphere. Because Christians were pushing their political agendas, much of their literature was rejected by the public (Gandolfo 14). Christian fiction seemed irrelevant to the masses, and influential writers started questioning the existence of God. They denied Him, and Christian authors had to turn elsewhere to publish their fiction. (Mort 2). Who better to turn to than evangelical publishing houses? But something else was going on underneath all that. The evangelical movement was becoming one of consumerism. Christianity was being thought of differently, so it’s byproducts were being produced differently. Anita Gandolfo’s book, Faith and Fiction, provides much more insight on this subject. “The emergence of evangelical Christian fiction as a publishing phenomenon is a symptom of a major shift in American religion,” (Gandolfo180).

The evolution of the evangelical novel continued, dividing Christian Fiction into sub-genres, just like secular fiction. Christian romance as it is today began with Grace Livingston Hill, but it was capitalized on with Janette Oke’s novels (Mort 3). She was one of the first people to publish romances with a Christian imprint (branch of a publishing house), Bethany House, in 1979. Christian thrillers started with Frank Peretti. He brought the concept of spiritual warfare to a whole new level and added the menacing side that was absent in much fiction of the time. However, he always wrote the darkness in a way that urged the reader to have hope. Ted Dekker took it a step further with his books like Three and Skin. Dekker and Peretti even collaborated and wrote House. Travis Thrasher has contributed, recently publishing three novels with David C. Cook, but his books exceed the genre of  thriller into the realm of horror. Most of the genres mentioned are dull echoes of secular ones that came before. The Christian sub-culture has spawned a new race of literature, one that has the label “Christian” and is driven by the message, rather than laced with subtle hints and themes throughout the written word. This is nothing new. For years Christians have just been making poor copies of what the secular world has made. This is the reason why Christian film remains cheesy and often useless; Christian film-makers can’t seem to be original.

It should be noted that not all Christian fiction is bad. It’s not all poorly written or stuffed with too much theology. However, the majority of it is washed down, with God tossed in for good measure. There are many examples of this, specifically under the Christian romance genre. Here are two examples.

That Certain Spark by Cathy Marie Hake takes place in Gooding, Texas in 1892. Taylor arrives in the small town as their new veterinarian and doctor, but most folks don’t like the fact that a woman could be so independent. One man in particular, Karl, has issues with her occupation. Coincidentally, Karl becomes her first patient. As Taylor fights for respect in the town, Karl becomes more protective of her and that protectiveness flares into love. The book starts with an old woman talking to Karl about his life. She summarizes the book in a sentence saying that he’s going to get right with Jesus and then find a wife. Karl struggles throughout the novel to “get right” with Jesus and is helped along by the perfect Taylor, whose only flaw is a 21st century mindset. By the end of the novel, the reader is left with a sense of satisfaction as Karl asks Taylor to marry him, and the assurance that their relationship will be Christ-centered because Karl has learned his lesson. This man is the Christian version of a Byronic hero: brooding, moody, handsome, big, menacing, a little rough. By the end he’s a disciple of Jesus, although still all of those things as well. The only reason this is any different from secular fiction is because Karl “gets right” with God. In the end he gets the girl and declares his undying love. “I love you, Dr. Taylor MacLay Bestman. Come with me through the years. Whatever God has in store, I want you by my side.” The incredibly cheesy ending is magnified by the fact that Hake added God into his declaration of love. It seems a tad bit unrealistic.

The Sword by Bryan Litfin is an adventure novel placed in an historic view of the future. After a nuclear war and a contagious disease tears the world apart, leaving few people, civilization must be rebuilt. The story begins in an age much like the Middle Ages, only in the future and with no knowledge of the Bible. The hero and heroine, Teofil and Anastasia, encounter many dangers and discover the Old Testament. They ask the perfect questions as they discover the deeper meaning, but they realize that they’re missing something and are cast out of their city for their spreading of the knowledge of Deu. Throughout the book, Teo and Ana fall in love, though they would never act in a risqué manner. Litfin wrote all kinds of cliches into his book, down to the red-headed temptress, the blonde angel and the wise mentor. Every page seems to be full of theological insights. This excerpt is from when the wise mentor is chastising Teo for his lack of faith: “‘Deu is the All-Creator. He’s not a God to be manipulated by rituals and good deeds and token offerings. He makes the plans; your place is to heed them.’” While Teo doesn’t immediately change his ways, by the end of the book he’s on the right track. Because it is stuffed with theological insights, the book loses some of its appeal. Litfin admitted in an interview that he wrote stereo-typical characters on purpose. He started with the theological ideas, and the idea of writing a novel for young men who are new Christians, instead of starting with a story and letting the rest come naturally.

These books aren’t all bad, but they lack the excellence that Christians should be showing in their writing. Why is it that no Christian fiction books in the past ten years would be considered “classic”? The most recent we have are The Chronicles of Narnia or perhaps Christy by Catherine Marshall. Why is that Christians seem incapable of producing good fiction? We are called to be excellent in everything that we do. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” This includes writing fiction. If an author isn’t writing for the glory of God, they shouldn’t pick up a pen (or open a Word doc. file). Writing to glorify is more than just the intent. If one is washing a car for the glory of God, but half the car is still streaked with dirt, that’s not properly glorifying Him. Writing isn’t something everyone can do. A lot of times working for God’s glory means not writing at all, or working on the craft until a good story is created. Stephen King, a brilliant writer though not a Christian, believes that their are four types of writers: those that can’t write and can’t learn, those that write badly, but can learn to be better, those that can write skillfully and have nothing left to learn, and geniuses, a status that no one can ever earn (King #). Not everyone is a genius. Not everyone is a skillful writer. There is always room for improvement. If a writer thinks that they can write a book that will pass or get published, but knows it’s not a good story, has bad characters, or is full of Christian cliches, they should stop!

1 Peter 2:9 says, “For you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” This is Christianity–a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God. Is this how God’s royal priesthood will be known in the realm of fiction publishing? As those who publish cheesy, often theologically incorrect books that make the public feel better, but don’t challenge them? We are called to higher standard of excellence in this world because we belong to the most excellent. There should be more expected of followers of Christ, not less.

There are several novels that came out in the last ten years or so that were heralded as some of the best in Christian fiction. Left Behind is probably one of the biggest examples of this. They show the end times and attempt to convey the theological ramifications of what will happen when the world comes to an end. The biggest problem with the book and the series is that it pushes an agenda, much like Litfin’s The Sword (Gandolfo 105). Flannery O’Connor writes in her novel, Novelist and Believer,

“The sorry religious novel comes about when the writer supposes that because of his belief, he is somehow dispensed from the obligation to penetrate concrete reality.  He will think that the eyes of the Church or of the Bible or of his particular theology have already done the seeing for him, and that his business is to rearrange this essential vision into satisfying patterns, getting himself as little dirty in the process as possible,”(O’Connor 157).

This seems sadly true. Authors push their agenda while avoiding the difficulties and sorrows that make up daily life. In That Certain Spark, the worst thing that they deal with is whether or not Karl can actually love Taylor, despite her profession. He comes back to Christ through that conflict. In The Sword, they start a house church and while that isn’t a walk in the park, it ends on the note that God will take care of them no matter what. The idea of suffering isn’t realistically addressed.

A good book will be well-written in a literary sense and include biblical themes that aren’t contrived. A writer ought to be able to write from the heart and include his or her beliefs without shoving them into the book. It’s impossible to write without infecting a work with the author’s world view. So why do so many think that they must stuff them into their works?

One of the greatest works of fiction that Christians love to claim as their own is The Lord of the Rings series by J. R. R. Tolkien. Tolkien did not write his series with the intent of showing his religious beliefs.

“The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision. That is why I have not put in, or have cut out, practically all references to anything like ‘religion’, to cults or practices, in the imaginary world. For the religious element is absorbed into the story and the symbolism,” (Tolkien no. 142).

There are others as well. Flannery O’Connor, as mentioned above, despised “religious literature” and wrote what she saw in the world. Her stories are a mixture of depressing realism and underlying hope that one day things will get better. John Updike wrote much the same way. He saw the spiritual emptiness in America and wrote about that, particularly in his novel In the Beauty of the Lilies (Gandolfo, 169).

These are the authors that future writers ought to emulate. They take reality and write what they see, not what they want it to be. They write the truth and they write it to the best of their ability; not copying a plot formula or giving the public what it wants, but showing people what they need.

Bibliography

(Or Works Consulted)

Brand, Hilary and Adrienne Chaplin. Art & Soul: Signposts for Christians in the Arts. Piquant. 2001.

Gandolfo, Anita. Faith and Fiction: Christian Literature in America Today. Praeger Publishing. 2007.

Hake, Cathy Marie. That Certain Spark. Bethany House. 2009

Litfin, Bryan. The Sword. Crossway Publishing. 2010.

Mort, John. Christian Fiction: a guide to the genre. Libraries Unlimited. 2002.

New American Standard Bible. ed.Donald Burdwick. Zondervan. 1999.

O’Connor, Flannery. Novelist and Believer. Mystery and Manners: occasional prose. Macmillan. 1967.

Tolkien, J. R. R. Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien. ed. by Humphrey Carpenter and Christopher Tolkien. Houghton Mifflin Co. 2000.

I am going to spend my entire winter break reading books and writing plays. And rewriting. And rewriting some more. And reading. I think my next post will be my winter break list of things that I want to do. It will probably be long and of things that I won’t actually get done, but it’ll be good for me. I’m worried about being home with nothing to do for three weeks, so having a list of things I can do that will be productive will be a helpful thing to have.

In other news, my flight back to Chicago was a delight. I was on a flight with two legs: the first brought us to Minneapolis, the second to Chicago. Our flight attendants were sassy and willing to be absolutely ridiculous to entertain our plane. A child’s shoe was found and they went around asking all the men if they’d lost a shoe. The flight was one of the bumpiest, turbulent flights I’d been on ever, but the pilot was brilliant and brought us through with ease. Apparently he was a newer pilot and the stewardess’s teased him mercilessly, but they all had fun. Because of the bumpy flight the attendants weren’t able to give us cabin service but they made up for it in enthusiasm. I sat next to an adorable Russian couple who were trying to figure out how to do a sudoku puzzle. I gave them a few tips that the husband had to translate for his wife. They were super adorable and I loved listening to them during the flight. The second leg of the flight the sky looked like an ocean. It was so gorgeous that I couldn’t take my eyes off of it for most of the flight.